Eric and Lisa
This week we've tried to get out and enjoy South Bend a little bit before we dive into the school year, so on Wednesday morning, we went to the nearby Potawatomi Zoo as a family. I had never been to that particular zoo (to my recollection...maybe I went there as a baby/toddler when my family lived in the area), and it was a nice, little zoo with a heavy emphasis on protecting and increasing endangered species. We saw all sorts of exotic animals like red pandas, bison, snow leopards, white-naped cranes, and chinese alligators. While the morning started out cool, by the time lunch time rolled around, it was hot and we were all ready to get home for Ian's nap, but not before finishing the day with a ride on the "choo-choo," the highlight of the day for Ian.
Ian watching the
Tiger
Ian was afraid of the
goats!
Eric and Ian on the train
Yesterday, we also
made a new friend who came right to our patio door and
asked for food: a little kitty! She was so hungry and
so sweet, and she let Ian do almost anything to her.
She just kept cuddling right up next to him. They ate
their afternoon snacks together, and she spent the
entire rest of the evening dozing on and under our
patio furniture. By this morning, she was gone, and we
haven't seen her at all today. Here are some pictures
of our new friend, though:
We're still here! It's been almost 3 weeks since we updated, and a LOT has happened! On the 10th of July, Eric successfully defended his dissertation! It was a beautiful day with lots of people we love milling about. Here are some pictures from the day:
Eric giving the
presentation
After the defense,
waiting to hear the final verdict
Ph.inisheD.!
On the afternoon of
the defense, Ian went home with his Nana and Pop where
he spent a few days before switching to his Mimi and
Papa's house. They all kept him so we could finish
packing and make the move up north a little easier.
(Thanks again, Moms and Dads!) Then, a couple days
after the defense, Eric turned 29! He's calling this
year the "victory lap" of his 20's -- and what an
exciting year it's already turning out to be!
Less than a week after the defense, we packed up all
our belongings in a Uhaul and moved back up to South
Bend. I can't describe how weird it felt to be driving
up US31 into South Bend, knowing that we were coming
back after six years. Not weird in a bad way....just
strange because when we moved south to Bloomington, we
never imagined that we'd take the same road back up to
our new-old home. It's very exciting! We're so happy
about the chance to teach and be involved at Bethel
College. It's amazing how God works!
So now, we're getting settled into our apartment and
beginning to keep our eyes open for possible house
candidates within walking distance of campus. Ian is
adjusting fine and seems to even like his new
surroundings. He's just glad the cat is still
here!
We had a very nice 4th of July yesterday! Even though the weather brought the coldest Independence Day I ever remember experiencing, we got to spend time with some good friends and each other. We also ate lots of yummy food! Isn't that the hallmark of every truly good holiday?
Here's a quick, random little Ian story.
A few weeks ago I put Ian on the potty after a failed nap attempt. My patience was rather short, and I was not feeling very good, so I just gave him a book and told him to call for me after he was done going to the bathroom (this is actually standard procedure when Ian is stalling, but I've begun to extend it to times when I'm just plain annoyed with him). That same day I had been putting away laundry, and I had left a pile of wash cloths on the sink counter which is next to the toilet.
After leaving Ian in the bathroom, I went out to the couch to lay down for a couple minutes while he did his business. For two or three minutes I could hear him chattering to himself while "reading" his book. Then, after a little while, it dawned on me that there had been complete silence from the bathroom for at least 30 seconds.
I quietly got up from the couch and tip-toed down the hall and peeked into the bathroom. Two things immediately jumped out at me:
1. Ian, seated on his seat, with a very thoughtful look was staring intently down into the toilet bowl. He had his hands curled up into little fists that were resting on his hips.
2. My stack of washcloths was no longer there.
I said, "Ian, whatcha doin' buddy?"
He looked up at me saying, "Uh-oh. Shorry. Mess."
What had happened was that he had peed all over the place, and had apparently tried to clean it up with the wash cloths that were on the counter. However, he had accidentally dropped them into the toilet.
I just shook my head, and we both started laughing.
About a month ago, I blogged about the ideas we got from the book Parenting with Love and Logic. Since then, we've tailored some of their ideas to our own situation and personalities. One way we've done this is by using choices to help lead Ian to a result that is not an option. For instance, all the steps leading up to a nap are laden with choices for him. "Do you want to sit on the big potty or the little potty? Do you want the grey sweatpants or the green sweatpants? Do you want the blue blanket or the green blanket? Do you want the duck book or the doggie book?" The wonderful thing about all these choices is that none of the specifics matter to us. What does matter to us is that he's still going potty, he's still putting on sweatpants, and he's still going down for a nap, but he feels like he's a part of the process and does everything much more willingly.
In dealing with undesired behavior, the choices also work quite well. If he's being exorbitantly loud at dinner, we calmly tell him, "You can either sit nicely and quietly in your chair, or you can play on the floor without food. Which do you want to do: eat or play?" If he chooses to eat, but continues to have inappropriate table manners (we're talking about things a 2-year-old reasonably has control over -- his mouth and loud antics), we gently take him down out of his chair and his supper is over, which means he probably goes to bed a little hungry. We've only had to do this once so far. An empty tummy is a powerful consequence to misbehavior related to food. However, a full tummy and the enjoyment of dinner is also a powerful consequence and motivation to straighten up. The trick is coming up with consequences that are applicable to the situation, and making it clear that the action leading to those consequences is his own choice.
I can't help but think that these choices are helping him become a more responsible individual, in the long run. I hope that the more situations he comes across to learn from his choices, the better choices he'll make as he gets older. All of this mixed with empathy and instruction about God's love may lead him in the right direction. I hope! Like my friend Anne says, it's kind of like "preventive" parenting: staying one step ahead of your child and predicting what might set him/her off, then being upfront with the child about the situation so that their actions really are their choice.