Eric and Lisa

At the same time that Eric and I were reading Jean Twenge's book entittled Generation Me (see our previous blog), I was also reading Max Lucado's devotional-style book, It's Not About Me: Rescue from the Life We Thought Would Make Us Happy. The juxtaposition of the two books was striking. One discussed the current trend of our generation to focus inward and attempt to achieve happiness through self-preservation tactics -- an attitude that has caused (in Twenge's point of view) record highs of depression, anxiety, and laziness. The other book described the attitude and focus that we should have -- that of focusing on God instead of ourselves. Max Lucado posits that if we could see that our bodies, our talents, our successes, and even our struggles are all for God's glory instead of our own, we would then find the true source of contentment and happiness in life. In God's system, we are definitely appreciated, valued, and loved, but we are not central or pivotal to his overall plan. Important? Yes. Essential? No. There is a difference there that "GenMe-ers" don't often get. We have been taught from Day One (by our parents, our school teachers, etc.) that we are invaluable and intrinsically special. While that is not necessarily false, it's also not necessarily the correct perception of ourselves. Taken too far, it can breed narcissism, an extremely unhealthily high opinion of one's self. According to Twenge, there is no data that shows that high self-esteem creates a good, hardworking and happy person. Lucado takes it one step further and suggests that turning our attention toward the holiness and specialness of God (rather than ourselves) and attempting to live our lives in such a way that we display and honor His character will give us a life filled with more happiness and contentment than we could ever dream. With that attitude, we can work hard and be productive and respectful not for our own glory, but for God's, which will lead to a much more satisfied life.

This whole experience with reading these books has (obviously) made us think, especially now that we're parents and we so desparately want to raise a child who is compassionate, hard-working, respectful, and honest. How does one instill such characteristics in a person? We think the biggest source of information for Ian will be by our own example. We're going to really try -- with God's help -- to be these things so that our children will see God, not us. After all, it's not about me.

A couple weeks ago I found on a friend's blog (www.castingoutnines.net) a reference to a book entitled "Generation Me", by Jean Twenge. The book came out of work Twenge did on her dissertation in regards to analyzing psychological survey data from different time periods (roughly 50's thru the present). Since in many cases the same survey instruments were used for over a half-century, she was able to make direct comparisons between responses recorded in different decades. Essentially, her research method allowed her to come as close to comparing "apples to apples" with respect to generational differences as one can. Some of her results were both interesting, and well..., rather disturbing.

In "Generation Me", Twenge sets out to create a broad picture of the thoughts and attitudes of those born since 1970. As she states, although 30+ years is a long time period for a generation, there are some important common denominators which make the grouping a valid one. Primarily, the emphasis on self-esteem driven education (i.e. everyone is taught to feel good about themselves regardless of what they do), as well as the perpetuation of the myth "you can be anything you want to be", has resulted in a generation of duty-less, depressed, and self-centered individuals. Twenge spends much of the book discussing how this generation thinks and feels about issues; everything from political involvement, interpersonal communication, work relations, and (in a highly disturbing chapter) sex.

Although I disagree with some of the conclusions Twenge draws from her research, as well as with her unbalanced and obviously biased portrayal of some issues, I think "Generation Me" should be a must-read for anyone who works with or wants to understand those born since 1970.

--Eric

On June 3rd, I had the chance to participate in IU's second annual Women's football clinic at Memorial Stadium. It was a great opportunity to learn more about football (about which I'm fairly clueless, still) and run around with a bunch of other women who love sports. At the end of the day, Eric came to pick me up with Ian in tow, and we had the chance to meet the head coach Terry Hoeppner (a.k.a. Coach Hep) and get a picture taken with him. Eric was sitting in the shade with Ian on the edge of the field while we were finishing up with our drills, and Coach Hep's daughter came up to take a look at the baby. She mentioned that her dad was a "sucker" for babies. Her mother, Jane, saw the baby from across the field, too, and had to come over as well. They both thought it would be a wonderful idea to get a picture taken, and called their dad and husband over to us. He was very excited about meeting Ian and was happy to stop for a minute to talk to us. The picture is catalogued in both our "Us" photo album on this website, as well as Ian's photo album. It was a fun experience. We joke that it was Ian's first "unofficial visit" to IU.

Hey, things are going much better than a week or so ago. My PUPPP rash has all but disappeared, and I'm starting to feel more normal. Hallelujah! I'm really thankful for the prayers that have gone up for me -- thank you to all who spent time on my behalf.

My mom (Denise) is here today to hang out with me and Ian. Having her come gives me a good chance to get some things done that I don't normally have time to do. God bless both grandmas! Ian is so blessed to have two grandmas who dote so much on him and are so loving. It will be great for him to grow up knowing both sets of grandparents.